Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? Fat Members of the Underclass.
By Julie Swill
‘Feed my face full of cakes and pizza, keep shovelling it in to my enormous, stupid mouth until I can take no more’, complain the imaginary obese people in my head. ‘It doesn’t matter that I can’t work, those hard working idiot tax payers will surely pay my way, the fools! Bring me more lard, wrapped in 50 pound notes!’ they gurgle, as they eat MY HARD EARNED MONEY. I say we devise a system where I say what people can and can’t eat. We will start with three randomly selected food stuffs that I like; Celery, eggs and water, yes, that would be best. Also, no parking vouchers for fatties, so they have to drag their disgustingly obese, flabby bodies to the supermarket and NOT TAKE UP MY PARKING SPACE!
You’re not disabled if you are obese. You’re not disabled if you are depressed. Being upset because a lot of the people you come into contact with don't really like you is not a disability. I should know. Having a crash and getting mild whiplash but pretending you’re disabled, like thousands of people probably do I imagine, is not a disability. The government should develop a system whereby they determine who is genuinely sick and allowed to claim the benefits of the welfare state, like myself, and those who are in league with the tens of thousands of fat, corpulent, sweating, dirty, lazy, ignorant, rancid, crisp eating hordes of benefit stealing scum that I imagine to exist lower down the social orders from myself.
Do you think the innocent, worthy disabled, like myself, feel good when they are forced to walk out of a job and then, even when they are coughing up blood and have no legs, are refused benefits (such as disabled parking vouchers) because all allocated money has been squandered on the council house living, feckless, Um Bongo drinking, Adidas cap wearing, mobile phone buying moaners? Nobody chooses to get dementia or the worst disease in the world, the one that I've got. Nobody wants a slipped disc (the type not caused by obesity) or to lose a limb in Afghanistan whilst fighting for our great country. The same as nobody forces anyone to become an alcoholic, a heroin addict or morbidly obese. 'Oh Lord, but addicts are victims! They are ill!' whine the experts, people that have a modicum of compassion or intelligence and those that try to understand the difficult relationships between socio-economic factors and public health. An illness? Really? Well I don’t think anyone made them glug whisky every day or forcibly injected heroin into their veins! And that is all that matters! They should have a gram of moral fibre and just say, ‘no’! I can’t imagine that it is a much harder thing to do than that. Mentally ill people, who are a bit sad, should just pull their socks up. Fat people should just not eat any more and go to the gym. Are obese people forced to eat? Are there other factors at work that cause long term drug addiction, the epidemic of obesity and the present increase in alcoholism? I don't think so. Again, I may be wrong because I’ve not really thought much about it... because IT'S JUST COMMON SENSE!
I've been ill and I know what it's like, I don't want to talk about it because I just got on with it. I don't want a shred of sympathy, nor empathy; it would make me vomit. But let’s just say I have been really poorly. Really really poorly, definitely more ill than those who SCROUNGE off our government. Oh go on then, you've twisted my arm, I’ll tell you. Well, I’ve had three PAINFUL (more painful than being fat!) and CRIPPLING (not like being a bit overweight or too lazy to walk to fridge!) illnesses. They are, in order of MOST INCONVENIENT TO ME A) REAL BACK PAIN, not made up back pain like dole scroungers get, B) NERVE PROBLEMS that caused me to feel really horrid, but keep working of course, and the MOST PAINFUL of all, C) A TUMMY PROBLEM THAT NEEDED SURGERY (Please remember I’m only telling you this in case you are interested. I don't want sympathy, as I said before, that would make me vomit). I really DO NOT LIKE IT when couch potatoes, the obese, weak people, motley fools, those that I don't care to take the time to understand, made up scapegoats and SCROUNGERS can't even stop themselves from downing gin (with taxpayer's money) in the local gin shop, smoking drugs (at YOUR expense) or buying cheap food that ISN'T EVEN CONDUCIVE TO KEEPING SLIM. Maybe if they were left unsupported, not molly-coddled and had to pay for their own housing and baseball caps and weren't given disabled parking badges THAT I SHOULD BE ENTITLED TO then every one of them would go out and get a job. But as I’ve said I’m not sure as I’m not very well informed on the subject.